Post 9.1
Wada acts on Russian doping but has it gone far enough?
(https://cutt.ly/Xe6fWPL) by Sean Ingle. Posted 9.12.2019. Accessed 11.12.2019
It is generally known that many people are waiting for the next Olympic Games; and so do I. That is why I have chosen an article about the Olympics. I can call myself a real fan of a number of different sport’s kinds. Without a doubt, every fan would like to see his or her country’s flag and to hear the national anthem. Frankly speaking, I was really devastated when I heard about Russian athletes’ ban to go to the 2020 Olympics; and I decided to go to the Guardian And check this information.
This article describes the events connected with doping which started in 2011. It is said that Russian athletes have taken “a cocktail of banned substances” in. Because of it their results became better, and it was surprising for other sportsmen and their countries’ representatives. After the 2014 Olympics in Sochi the situation has worsened. Moreover, Rodchenkov, the former head of Moscow anti-doping laboratory, claimed that database in his laboratory was falsified, and some results were deleted. These failed drug tests led to the four-year ban of Russian athletes.
In my opinion, all this situation is unfair. According to the wrong drug test results the Olympic Committee should not have taken such a decision. I cannot imagine that all our athletes took doping. I consider that to a greater extent it is a political plot against Russia. The Olympic Games is just another way to put pressure on Russian government. Fair athletes must not be prohibited to represent their own country. I suppose that Russian athletes must be offered a chance to take drug tests in another laboratory somewhere in a foreign country; in order to persuade the Committee in the purity of their blood. Sport and politics definitely must not be mixed.
Kristina,
ОтветитьУдалитьthis is a very painful and urgent issue for many peope. You have described the situation in detail corresponding to the length of your essay. However, you should add 2 more paragraphs to consider 2 more sides/aspects of the problem. I think you have forgotten that the standard essay length is 5 paragraphs. You can check here: https://www.time4writing.com/writing-resources/writing-five-paragraph-essays-for-standardized-test/
Points to consider:
are waiting for the next Olympic Games; and so do I: grammar
number of different sport’s kinds: ? it's not common to use "sport" as a possesive to kinds of sport
After the 2014 Olympics in Sochi the situation has worsened: Tense
pressure on ART Russian government
УдалитьContent: 4.5 (Conclusion: can make it more memorable by using one of the techniques for conclusions. Have a look at the resource which lists some special techniques to finish your essay http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/conclude.html
Organisation: 3 (thesis statement not specific enough + you had to write a 5-paragraph essay)
Mechanics: 4
Language: 4
Referencing: 4 (incomplete)